How to Get Him to Care Again Jayson Gaddis

The Smart Couple Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

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Podcast Overview

A trail blazing human relationship podcast for growth-development oriented people who want a deeply fulfilling long-term relationship. Here we re-write the outdated nonsense of matrimony and monogamy and offering you practical, easy to utilise tools so you tin get the kind of relationship you deserve and then strengthen it over time. Your host Jayson Gaddis again shares his own traumas and triumphs on the style to "winning*" in union (*winning means he can get his connectedness needs met without compromising his values or integrity). Join him, his wife, and many other relationship geeks every bit they explore the next affiliate of modern monogamy.

Podcast Episodes

SC 140 - The 4 Freedoms That Develop Masculine Depth & Purpose - Satyen Raja

The feeling of being lost and purposeless in life has a big impact on our relationships.  Men and women accept a deep demand to not just connect with each other, but connect to a bigger meaning in their life.

Satyen Raja is an expert at helping us develop the higher levels of purpose & development in our lives - and this affects everything from our work, our relationships with our partners & kids, our fitness and our level of satisfaction with our lives.

His '4 freedoms' is an extremely useful exercise to helping yous go along your centre on your highest cocky - especially if we're suffering in feeling lost and without management.

This episode, largely geared toward the men, volition challenge you lot and give y'all a toolkit that dramatically increase your relationship and life satisfaction if you use them - listen advisedly for the exercises and grab a notebook, considering these ones are important.

SHOW NOTES

• How to create a relationship where both partners are learning from and inspiring one some other [thirteen:00]
• Satyen'south number one thing he's learned equally a man in relationship to his wife [15:00]
• Men & women triggering each other & how to bargain with both [17:00]
• How men can mind better in conflict without being a 'chump' [18:00]
• A martial arts technique to at-home downwardly when you're triggered [xix:00]
• The "iv freedoms"  for accelerated evolution and college purpose [22:00]
• A 10min exercise men can do to bring more presence to their partner [xxx:00]
• How to move toward more meaning in life [43:00]
• Satyen'south "Accelerated Evolution" trauma-release technique [49:00]
• Satyen'southward communication for men who are stuck or lost in life  [61:00]

SC 139 - Therapy Vs Coaching

Is at that place a difference betwixt therapy and coaching? In this episode, I explore the primary differences and what matters more than than anything else when trying to find a good therapist or motorcoach to aid you through your relationship challenges.

SHOWNOTES

• Where should you go for relationship advice? [2:00]
• The difference between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and a psychotherapist [4:00]
• Why do some coaches charge more than than therapists? [ten:00]
• Good coaching vs bad coaching [11:00]
• How bad therapy can keep you stuck [13:00]
• When should yous go to a therapist and when should you lot become to a coach? [16:00]

SC 138 - How Having Expectations Can Injure Your Relationship - Christine Hassler

There are ii behemothic means we screw up our relationships. Ane is by breaking agreements. The other is past never having agreements to begin with.   Broken agreements can exist great opportunities to open a dialogue with our partner about our needs, renegotiate our agreements if they no longer make sense, or even depict a hard boundary around what nosotros will and won't tolerate.   But what happens when nosotros never have agreements to begin with? Expecting our partner to do, be and deed a certain style without clearly communicating is a recipe for an almost certain 'sh*t hitting the fan' fight.

In this chat with Christine Hassler, we dive into the world of agreements, communication and what she calls 'expectation hangovers'.

Make sure to listen carefully for the three ways that we fall prey to toxic (and easily preventable) expectations that tin can blow up in our faces when left unchecked - in our relationships and in our lives.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

• Christine'southward story [7:00]
• How beliefs ingrained early in childhood can show up as physiological symptoms later [10:00]
• What depression tin tell us about suppressed or repressed emotions [10:00]
• What Christine calls "Journeying Mates" (and why non all break-ups are a bad thing) [12:00]
• Exercises for self-compassion and self-sensation [17:00]
• The divergence between Agreements and Expectations [23:00]
• How to handle broken agreements in relationship [25:00]
• How to handle it when your partner doesn't run into your expectations [25:00]
• What is an "Expectation Hangover"? [26:00]
• What nosotros DON'T want to practice when dealing with an Expectation Hangover [28:00]

SC 137 - How to Re-Parent A Triggered Partner

Dealing with a partner who is triggered tin exist difficult - particularly if they reply negatively to your help.

Maybe you lot've been here before: your partner is upset most something, you practice your best to requite them some encouraging words or to calm them downwards, simply no matter what y'all practise, your partner's gets more and more upset (or worse... now upset with you for trying to help).

If you've ever been in this situation before and desire to know how to preclude it, this episode is for yous.

QUESTION:
How do we re-parent our partner, and meet them in regressive kid-like states when they are triggered without infantilizing them? I discover when I go into nurturing mode when my partner is triggered, he ofttimes responds with aggression, I think in part considering it feels emasculating or patronizing, or perchance because he doesn't feel lovable in those moments.
- Caitlin

SHOWNOTES

• Caitlin's question [four:00]
• Why do men get triggered when y'all try to assistance them? [five:00]
• How to accept care of your man without him feeling emasculated [6:00]
• Learning how to help each other when you're triggered [7:00]
• What to do when your partner responds to your support with assailment [ten:00]

SC 136 - Why Self Awareness & Excavation Into Your Past Helps Yous Get A Great Relationship - Alexandra Solomon

A major shift is happening with the way we educate young adults about relationships and sex.  Despite what we hear in the media about the 'hookup culture,' the bulk of young adults are very interested in learning about relationships and long-term partnerships.

Alexandra Solomon is paving the way in the academic world, educating both students and adults in the all-important long-term human relationship game.  If you lot're a parent or a teacher, this is a great episode to listen to.  You'll get a sense of what the important topics, conversations and areas that young adults are wanting to know about when it comes to relationships.

SHOWNOTES

• Alexandra's story [iii:00]
• Exploring the lessons y'all learned in childhood [13:00]
• How to talk to students nigh sex and relationships [18:00]
• Teaching young adults to shift from 'functioning-based' sexual activity to connection-based sex [20:00]

SC 135 - If Your Partner Made You Listen To This Podcast

Do you take a friend or partner telling y'all to mind to this podcast?  Don't know where to outset and experience pressured to get 'up to speed'?  This episode is for you.

SHOWNOTES

• Should you listen to this podcast? [1:00]
• Why you SHOULD be skeptical [2:00]
• How to show your partner that you lot care near the human relationship in your own way [5:00]

SC 134 - Ayahuasca, Trauma & Relationships - Dr Gabor Maté

At that place's been a surge in alternative, traditional methods to healing our deepest wounds. Ane of the master approaches that has gained popularity here in America is the use of the traditional Southward American mash, Ayahuasca, in guided ceremonies.

Dr Gabor Maté, renowned habit expert, and writer, is dorsum for a second chat to discuss the benefits & cautions to using Ayahuasca. In this conversation, nosotros also discuss many natural (non-medicinal) methods to healing trauma through the power of present-moment awareness practices, condom relationships and creating space for healing.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

• Where Western medicine succeeds & fails [11:00]
• What traditional rituals can teach us about healing [13:00]
• How Ayahuasca works and why it'southward used [16:00]
• Finding the roots of our trauma [29:00]
• Dealing with trauma using present-moment awareness [32:00]
• Why we demand to create space in our lives for healing and rest [38:00]

SC 133 - Asking For What You Demand Without Making Threats

How oft do you find yourself wanting to ask for something in your human relationship - more advice, more time & attending, more than touch - only to find yourself holding dorsum out of fear?
Expressing (or confessing) our needs can feel scary and edgy.  If information technology'due south a 'not-negotiable need' information technology's easy to feel like you're threatening the relationship with an ultimatum: "I need this or I'm out".

S0 practice you hold back, hoping your partner will come effectually on their own (and getting more resentful when they don't)? Or practice you bring your needs to the table and cross your fingers, hoping it all goes well?

This episode will teach you how to go your needs met, without feeling  you're making a threat to the human relationship.

QUESTION
You speak of stating and sticking by your Non-Negotiable Needs, but you also say to never threaten to walk away from the relationship. And then how practice you stick upwardly for yourself and your NNN's without the threat of walking abroad hanging around in the background -- isn't it implied that you'll be leaving if your NNN's aren't met? I am missing how to do this properly.
Give thanks YOU for your assist and for clearing this upward!
-Jessica

SHOWNOTES

• Does having needs make yous 'needy'? [1:00]
• Communicating your needs to your partner in a non-threatening way [iii:00]
• When your needs aren't compatible with your partner's [6:00]
• Getting your needs met without threatening the relationship [7:00]
• When yous accept a need for more communication and connexion than he tin requite you [8:00]
• Your action step [nine:30]

SC 132 - seventy% of Teens Want More than Guidance Most Romantic Relationships - Richard Weissbourd

Finally about the real research that backs upwardly the mission of The Relationship Schoolhouse®. Not just are teens Non existence educated about romantic relationships, but 70% of teens and young adults are WANTING more aid and guidance effectually their honey relationships. This is outstanding news because it'southward been a major void. In this episode, I speak with lead researcher Richard Weissbourd well-nigh his 5-yr study with over 3000 teens and young adults on romantic relationships. If you are a parent, or desire to exist 1, this is a must listen.

SHOWNOTES

• How honey evolves over the form of a relationship (and why that's a skilful thing) [9:00]
• Why relationships aren't being taught in school [14:00]
• The truth nearly teen hookup culture [twenty:00]
• Learning to talk about relationships and sex activity with our kids [23:00]
• Why it'south important to challenge misconceptions most romantic love [25:00]

SC 131 - When You Refuse To Have Your Husband'due south Parenting Style

QUESTION
My husband's parents have told me in the past (to them it's funny) almost how harsh they were with him as a baby and every bit a young child. This might explicate why when our newborn has meltdowns he sometimes gets frustrated to the point of telling her to 'shut up' and at times handling her a little rougher than I feel comfortable with. I understand where my husband is coming from, given his past, just I pass up to allow my daughter to grow up with that kind of handling or to allow her to be his experiment as he learns how to manage his hurt and frustration.

 How can I approach my husband with concerns almost how he treats our child?
- Christina in South Florida

SHOWNOTES

• When your partner crosses the 'safety' line with your child [1:00]
• The tricky game of setting boundaries in parenting [iii:00]
• If your partner is unwilling to change their parenting manner [five:00]
• What to do when you've reached your emotional limit with persistent tantrums [6:00]

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